December 2011
267 posts
From Sledge to Lip about Luz:
(480): He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
When Ray and Luz finally caved in and went grocery...
(763): there’s no toilet paper. I’m using wheat bread.
This was the point when Luz stopped taking dating...
(614): If you want her to think you’re a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as “the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers.”
From Hoosier to Joe:
(901): I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3am googling ‘Traumatic masturbation’ while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
From Malarkey to Skip:
(720): You’re the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Anonymous asked: Who runs this blog?
2 tags
So just out of curiosity:
Does anyone still actually enjoy these? Because I adore posting them, but there’s been a massive drop in interest and if no one really likes them anymore I’ll just leave them to my personal blog. It’s not a problem or anything, it’s just a matter of not wanting to spam dashes.
From Snafu to Ray:
(610): all I’ll say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you’re on is going to nashville.
From Babe to Walt:
(510): I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn’t answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
(1-510): It was probably Jesus.
(510): I feel like he would have left a message.
From Ray to Malarkey:
(231): I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then Walt called the cops.
(906): so you’re not coming in to class today?
When Gene was unsure about the safety of Ray's...
(613): I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
When Ray can't find Brad anywhere:
(603): Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland’s vagina, he’s that much of a blonde beauty.
From Babe to Luz:
(360): You were so drunk at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
From Babe to Skip:
(630): The guys stopped by my house. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
1 tag
When the boys visit Ron for the holidays:
(781): The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
(781): I love boston
From Luz to Harry:
(574): I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
1 tag
slameronhurley:
Instead of kissing someone on new years I’m gonna punch someone in the face
The reason why no one outside of the Toccoa boys...
(952): So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
(781): Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
When Ray's house party got a little out of...
(832): The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
Mass text from Gene to everyone:
(819): The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
From Andy to Luz:
(770): you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the “Rave Fairy” you now know why.
(678): THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
From Hoosier to Gene:
(813): I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Mass text from Ray to everyone:
(610): first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
1 tag
From Ray to Luz:
(403): next time we drink: battle shots.
(1-403): battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
From Brad to Ray:
(812): You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
From Brad to Andy:
(283): by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. Nix just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
From Snafu to Walt:
(515): you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
From Hoosier to Joe:
(724): I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
From Babe to Sledge:
(616): Don’t be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
When Ray has some very specific opinions:
(360): He started yelling “fuck the environment” then puked all over the baby trees
Mass text from Luz to everyone:
(312): this carosel is playing the motherfucking circle of life
(312): im about to get on it
(312): cant stop me
(312): here i goooo
From Walt to Babe:
(612): the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, “you know, the usual wear and tear.”
When Renee decides to torment Babe and see how far...
(239): Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
From Eddie to Gene about Babe:
(601): He kept singing “who’s that peekin in my window”. we thought he was drunk til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
From Skip to Babe:
(607): Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn’t even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Ron to Harry about Luz:
(717): im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
From Ray to Harry:
(410): luz picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
From Ray:
(949): Hey sorry for feelin’ up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
1 tag
From Walt to Babe:
(859): I feel like death. Did you die last night?
(305): Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
(859): unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Why Luz wasn't allowed back into the high rise...
(702): he just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
When Hoosier mistook Ray for a homeless man:
(516): Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
That time Harry borrows Ray's laptop:
(712): That’s because “bed time” is my sex playlist. If you’re trying to fall asleep use “nap time”
Mass text from Nix to everyone:
(248): Why is there a blood-covered “sorry about your stuff” note stapled to my door?
From Luz to Ray:
(919): What are we going to do tonight?
(704): What we try to do every night. Take over the world
From Babe to Sledge:
(443): and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
From Eddie to Hoosier:
(913): Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
From Web to Hoosier:
(925): don’t blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
(510): big words… still drunk. dont care. your fault.
1 tag
From Sledge to Walt about Ray:
(516): I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering “I’m Alex Mac! I’m Alex Mac!”
From Sledge to Walt about Babe:
(402): He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
From Babe to Skip - second year shenanigans:
(404): What part of “waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon” sounds like a good night to you?