February 2012
140 posts
2 tags
From Walt to Babe:
(310): Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
(310): Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
From Hoosier to Ray:
(763): It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
From Skip to Babe:
(630): So to distract myself from luz’s vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It’s called the little penis that could
2 tags
From Harry to Nix:
(619): My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
From Lip to Andy about Luz:
(306): I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house “looked like it had buck teeth”
Words of wisdom from Ray:
(724): Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
From Babe to Gene, when his latest clinic visit...
(518): HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I HAVE CLASS IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I HAVE CLASS IN ONE HOUR.
From Sledge to Ray:
(724): I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say “HAMMERED”
(239): I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
From Babe to Walt:
(419): I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you’re a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The start of Ray and Luz's friendship:
(330): He bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while he washed the chemicals out of his mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The seldom-seen second floor were not fans of...
(517): the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
(1-517): fuck our hall.
From Babe to Ray:
(864): no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
From Walt to Joe about Hoosier:
(248): Seriously, come get him. He’s not even a person anymore. He’s a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
From Nix to Ron:
(703): just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
From Luz to Skip:
(617): A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don’t make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
From Nix to Harry:
(314): Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
From Ray to Walt:
(443): I’m a gentleman, chivalry is what i do, i’ll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i’ll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I’m sorry but i just can’t let you beat me at mario kart
From Joe to Hoosier:
(248) 3:26am: come over
(847): you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
(248) 4:11am: mnlodp
(847): dude I don’t understand hebrew and I’m not coming over
Things Walt texts Babe at 2am during winter break:
(248): I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
How Ray and Luz spend their Tuesday nights:
(203): They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
From Luz to Lip (sent 7 times in one night between...
(810): I’m laying in your front yard are you home
4am texts from Babe to Sledge:
(949): …., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
(949): ps not my toothbrush awkward.
From Nix to Harry:
(914): i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn’t even a Klondike bar.
1 tag
From Joe to Hoosier about Web:
(734): It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like “WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE.”
From Walt to Babe:
(702): Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
(636): anything’s socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
This was the last time the guys went to a bar Luz...
(229): It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
(904): Keeping it classy as usual I see
From Nix to Ron:
(303): So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
(312): And maybe a life coach?
Ray's annual exam Olympics:
(832): Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
From Harry to Dick:
(+61): why is my forehead so bruised?
(1+61): i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn’t lift your arms.
From Nix to Ron:
(678): This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
2 tags
From Lip to Andy about Luz:
(516): I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering “I’m Alex Mac! I’m Alex Mac!”
From Hoosier to Joe:
(425): i’m chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, snaf’s chasing it w cream cheese, harry’s chasing it w pickles…i think we all know who the winner is….
From Nix to Ron about Harry:
(630): He snuck into some random hotel’s continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Sometimes Babe talks to Joe's food as he cooks it:
(607): I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. “Let me in there!” they wanna get inside me
From Hoosier to Snafu:
(251): My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Hangovers were not kind to Luz:
(203): i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my ass
From Malarkey to Luz:
(720): This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
3 tags
From Ray to Snafu:
(250): We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don’t leave your facebook open, and if you do, don’t complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
From Hoosier to Snafu:
(902): You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: “I like fear” and “I am fear”
From Hoosier to Sledge:
(412): I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
From Ray to Hoosier:
(931): Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke Snafu’s bed and kicked Harry in the face. Then when Dick came by I shouted to let him in he’s gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Sometimes Nix took over Dick's duties of writing...
(502): Your noise violation report contains the word “five-some”…wtf happened in here?
From Snafu to Hoosier (spoilers - it was Babe):
(707): You rang?
(405): Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling “you have no soul!” so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Ray turns Group Activity Night into a potential...
(604): he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink…
From Joe to Snafu:
(810): Before I roll over explain to me why you’re naked and on my floor.
3 tags
From Harry to Nix:
(812): About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
From Walt to Sledge about Babe:
(919): So we just left him at the hospital. He is not ruining my Monday night
From Hoosier to Joe, when he slips and falls on a...
(206): He kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Gene gets a look at Ray's medical history:
(703): He was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
From Ray to Luz:
(+55): Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.